So here we are in the middle of a pandemic.
I’ve found it very disorienting to digest the ever-changing news on the spread of the virus, cancellations and shutdowns, and people hoarding everything from toilet paper to bottled water. I noticed in the grocery store the other day that even Spam was getting low on the shelf.
How are you doing? People are telling me they feel anxious, overwhelmed, and fearful from this new experience we’re all going through. If that’s what is happening for you, here are a few ideas to maintain your bounce during this time of unknowns.
1. Be kind to yourself
I placed this as the first practice because I noticed that many people are feeling ashamed of being anxious and scared.
Repeat after me: “Being in the middle of a pandemic is HARD.”
When hard things come up in life, treating ourselves harshly doesn’t help—compassion does.
Think about what you’d say to a friend who is feeling scared and unsure because of the coronavirus. What would you say to her? “Oh, come on, get over it! Why are you being such a wimp?”
Probably not. You’d likely say something such as, “I know, this is really scary, isn’t it? I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.”
You can be kind and gentle to yourself, too. When I’m feeling scared or stressed or anxious, I like to put both hands over my heart and say to myself, “This is a hard time. You’ll be okay.”
Self-compassion can help you feel comfort in uncertain times.
Resource: Dr. Kristen Neff’s excellent website on self-compassion
2. Stay in the present
Anxiety tends to be about the future—what’s coming next? How will I handle it? Can I handle it?
The problem with anticipating the future too much is we can’t know exactly what is going to happen. And with this pandemic, we are certainly experiencing a lot of unknowns.
Since we can’t control the future, the best place to be is in the current moment. It’s hard to stay there for long because our minds tend toward future thinking, but staying in the present for even a few minutes can be refreshing and comforting.
Try these techniques to center yourself in the present moment:
- Grounding through the senses. Use your five senses to become aware of what is around you. Touch the chair you’re sitting in and notice if it’s smooth or rough, warm or cold. Look around you and name three things you see. Name three things you hear. Is there an aroma in the air or a certain taste in your mouth? Notice how this exercise shifts your focus into the present.
- Say, “I notice I’m . . .” Take 10 seconds to notice what you’re feeling and thinking. Actually say in your mind, “I notice I’m feeling anxious,” and “I notice I’m thinking that this coronavirus is nerve-wracking.” Then follow it up with, “And I’m okay right now in this moment.”
3. Reassure your brain
Our brains are problem-solving machines. If the brain perceives that there is a problem to be solved, it will go into overdrive trying to solve it.
The problem (no pun intended) is that some problems aren’t solvable. For example, the problem of a pandemic. While we all know the guidelines around hand washing and social distancing, our brains want to know how to solve the basic problem of the coronavirus itself.
The other thing the brain does is to pop into fight-or-flight-or-freeze mode when we’re unsure of something or our brain perceives a threat. A pandemic with an uncertain course certainly qualifies as a perceived threat. This makes the primitive part of the brain, where the fight-or-flight-or-freeze system lives, jump into hypervigilant mode and increase anxiety.
In these cases, it’s helpful to reassure our brains that we’re actually okay. You might say to your brain (yourself), “This isn’t a problem to be solved so let’s let go of looking for a solution” and “I notice I’m anxious right now but I’m okay” or even, “Okay, brain, take a deep breath. I got this.”
4. Set aside specific time for worrying
If you’re a worrier and just can’t get your brain to settle down, schedule a specific time to worry.
You read that right.
If you know you have a specific time set aside to worry, you won’t lose all of your energy by worrying throughout the day. Set a timer and worry all you want—it’s a free-for-all worry fest!
And when your worry time is up, let go and move on with your day.
Note: you may not want to do this near your bedtime.
Resource: How to stop worrying
5. Stay social
What? How are we supposed to do that when we’re locked down or sheltering-in-place as we are now doing in California?
First of all, social contact and social support are both evidence-based behaviors that keep us positive, happy, and healthy. Abandoning our social lives right now is the opposite of what will help us get through this unparalleled time.
As opposed to the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic, we have the ability now to stay in touch via technology. Use whatever you can—FaceTime, Zoom, Google Hangouts, or other methods—to chat with your friends and family.
You can even celebrate together. Some of my neighbors held Happy Hour in their separate homes but connected by video conferencing.
Don’t have access to a computer or the internet? That thing in your back pocket with all those little icons on it? It can also be used as a telephone. Call the people closest to you. Maybe arrange to hang out with one person but still observe the social distancing space of six feet.
Even if you’re an introvert, you need people. Please don’t neglect this vital part of your life.
6. Keep your sense of humor
If you look around at all, you can see there are some really funny parts to this whole pandemic thing.
People hoarding toilet paper. Toilet paper! That’s funny just by itself.
And there are tons of funny memes about toilet paper, working from home, and being quarantined. Just Google “coronavirus memes” and you’ll be giggling for hours.
Not only does laughter release endorphins, lower blood pressure, and make you feel more relaxed, it just plain makes you feel good. And laughing with someone else—even via video—strengthens the prosocial bonds that are so important during times of stress.
Resource: Funny pandemic memes
We can get through this.
Together.
Breathe.
More helpful resources:
A psychologist’s science-based tips for emotional resilience during the coronavirus crisis, NY Times, March 17, 2020
Manage Anxiety and Stress, CDC
Managing Fears and Anxiety Around the Coronavirus (Covid-19), Harvard University Health Services
Arlen Morris says
Bobbi excellent coverage. Since Tim now suffers from anxiety and some panic, ( has since his adrenalin basically did not shut dowm when my cancer treatments and emergencies ended.) What you have offered is really well put and I will share with him.Though we are Seattle and epicenter, we are also not Seattle and semi isolated within an excellent community of aware seniors/close neighbors. We can almost always meet at the beach, practicing a degree of social distancing.
I am personally very happy , as suddenly released from all I thought I should do, even the docs are talking to me at home, something I have agitated for, for some time. Something Medicare billing regs were controlling. I have endless time now to tackle garden, home and art projects. It is how it should be, but Having that social conscience that makes me believe I am obligated to contribute to community.
So for now, we are not anxious. We are in some despair over the lack of national leadership and the jerk who is currently our president. We have healthy concern for all who are either ill or displaced and will reach out as we are a need to a which we can respond.
Is that enough of a response. Guess I like the sound of my own voice too much. So since you are on the front lines and among or will be serving many who are in serious need, keep yourself and you family well. Take your own advice!!! Love the Aunt
Bobbi says
Thanks for your comment, Arlen! Looks like you’re taking a healthy approach to this by enjoying the hobbies you have and taking advantage of your time.