Archive | Resilience

Healing rituals for holiday grief

For many of us, the holidays are a joyful time with family, friends, and other loved ones.broken heart

But if you’ve lost a loved one during the year, this time of year may very well be the opposite of  joyful.

I hope this short article I first posted on my therapy website is helpful for those of you who are struggling this year.

Holidays without your loved one . . .

can be painful and lonely. Especially if it’s the first time the holiday has rolled around after your loss.

Sometimes it’s helpful to create a small ritual to help you remain connected to your loved one while still acknowledging your loss on this special day.

Get your closest friends together, the people you feel the safest with, and create a ritual to remember your loved one during a holiday. Or do the ritual by yourself. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Write a letter to your loved one expressing your feelings during the holiday. Put it in a box and gift-wrap it. Then, put it under the Christmas tree or on a table – wherever you used to place it when your loved one was alive – and keep it as long as you like.  Or try these ideas with your ritual group: bury the box in a special place outside; burn the box and visualize releasing your feelings as the ashes float upward; have one of your friends open the box and read the letter to your ritual group.
  • Ask your ritual group to gather and have each person recall favorite stories about your loved one. You might want to structure it by having them tell stories about their holiday memories of your loved one, how they met your loved one, or what your loved one would say or do that would make them laugh the hardest.

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10 things to tell yourself when life smacks you down

Sometimes life is just really nasty and smacks us right down to the ground. It feels awful and can leave us flailing, trying to figure out how to get back up again. Here are ten things to tell yourself that might help you do just that. Be sure to check out the resources that go along […]

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How good are you at bouncing back? Take the quiz!

When faced with a crisis, some of us bounce back just like a fully inflated ball while others of us hit the ground with a thud and stay there, totally deflated. How good are you at bouncing back? Take this non-scientific quiz to find out! Let’s hear how you did in the comments section.   […]

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Infographic – 30 Things to start doing for yourself

I love this infographic. What’s great about doing these things for yourself is that each and every one of these helps to build your resilience. Put one or more together and your ability to bounce back in life will increase even more quickly. Print the infographic out and stick it on your fridge, mirror, or […]

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6 ideas to help you bounce out of depression

Note: This is a guest post by blogger and author David Ramos.   The phone rang. I lifted my head up off the tear-soaked pillow and searched for the phone under a mess of tissues and blankets. Hello, I said, doing my best to sound as if I hadn’t just finished crying. Hey man, how […]

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Knowing this one thing about yourself can change your life

Wouldn’t it be great if there was an easy fix for problems? Some little thing you could do that would help you bounce back in a big way from a rough patch in your life? Occasionally, there is. Here are a couple stories from my private practice (names and identifying details have been changed) of people […]

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15 easy tips to bounce back from everyday frustrations

Your gossipy co-worker cornering you in the break room. Finding yourself in an unexpected traffic jam on the only day you have a meeting first thing in the morning. Getting another notice of your unpaid telephone bill even though you paid it two weeks ago. Being placed on hold again by the customer service department of […]

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Need more self-esteem? 5 reasons why you really don’t.

“If I only had more self-esteem, I would be completely happy,” my young client declared as we discussed her goals for therapy. Internally, I heaved a big sigh. “Okay,” I responded, “Let’s explore self-esteem . . .” What happened to self-esteem’s cred? Remember when parents and teachers were encouraged to make sure children developed healthy […]

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