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But I Don’t Know What to Say . . .

You just found out that your friend’s partner passed away unexpectedly. Your heart sinks, partially from sadness for your friend, but also because you know you should go to her. Try to comfort her. You feel your pulse quicken. “But I don’t know what to say,” you think to yourself, “What if I say something wrong?”

We all feel this way at times. Always wanting to say the perfect thing, to do the thing that is just right to help our hurting loved one through rough times. But the topic of death is so taboo in our society that we are rarely taught what is comforting in times of grief versus what is well-intended but not helpful. This article covers a few basic groundrules for being with a grieving person.

But I Don’t Know What to Say . . . how to talk with a person in grief



Bobbi Emel is a therapist who helps people in Los Altos, Palo Alto, Mountain View and the greater Bay Area manage their stress and develop their strengths.
She is effective in helping people dealing with anxiety, worry and grief; and also those who want to improve their effectiveness and performance.