You decide to join the Bounce community – and get a great ebook in the process – so you fill out the little form on the right that asks for your first name and email.
Not only do you receive the ebook, Bounce Back! 5 keys to survive and thrive through life’s ups and downs, you inevitably get an email from me asking you to share the biggest struggle you’re facing right now.
I get a variety of responses:
- Health problems
- Financial pressures
- Worry about children and family
- Indecision about career issues
- Struggles with mental and emotional health
- Relationship problems
- Lack of self-worth, self-confidence, self-compassion
- Caring for aging parents
- Dealing with past abuse
- Grieving the loss of a loved one
I answer all my email and always try to help in whatever small way I can.
Since there are zillions of different struggles that we all face, there are lots of suggestions that I make.
But I find myself asking the writer one question again and again:
Who do you have in your life that can support and guide you right now?
Other people can help us bounce back
Resilience research tells us that social support is a key component of one’s ability to bounce back.
Not only can it help us survive the struggles we face, it can also help us thrive. Having supportive people – or even just one person – around when we’re floundering can actually help us become better and stronger than we were before.
By allowing us to build a framework around our problem as we talk about it. This structure then helps us understand ourselves better as we reflect on the situation. We see where we came from and how we got to this point.
Importantly, having both a framework and a pair of listening ears helps free up our brains to do less worrying and more problem-solving.
As we move through our struggle, the people around us act as mirrors, helping us to see how far we’ve come and how much we’ve grown.
That forest and those trees
I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m the Queen of Tunnel Vision.
I can be right on top of something without seeing it. And this particular characteristic doesn’t stop at only material things.
In the midst of a forest of life problems, I have a habit of focusing squarely on one tree.
Financial problems? The solution (tree) must be to make more money. I must make more money and I must make it quickly.
I spent a lot of time and anxiety trying to make more money when, if I had stepped back a bit and looked at the entire scenario (the forest,) I might have noticed that the path through my financial problems did include making more money, but it also helped to perhaps create a budget, reduce unnecessary spending, and save wisely.
While part of my inability to see the forest for the trees is innate to my personality, there is a larger component that has been able to learn to take in the whole forest.
Need some help? I’ve got something for you
Once I became aware of my royal position as the Queen of Tunnel Vision, I realized that I was going to need some help to expand my perspective.
I learned to ask others for their ideas and perceptions of the problem I was facing and, because it’s always easier to see someone else’s problem more clearly than your own, they provided me with a view of the whole forest and turned my vision away from the tree I was staring at.
Over time, these friends, family members, therapists, and coaches have widened my perspective so that now I can often see the much broader picture of my problem or situation myself rather than getting stuck on just one aspect of it.
Both life experience and research have taught me the value of leaning on people in my support system for help and perspective. That is why I find myself asking readers, “Who do you have in your life that can support and guide you right now?”
We all need help from time to time broadening our perspectives. That’s why I’m excited to tell you that I’m offering a way for you to get some help directly from me!
My new Personal Guidance Program allows you to talk with me one-to-one to help get you through that stuck place in your life.
I’m really excited about it but can only offer this to a handful of people, so be sure to get on board quickly if you’d like for me to help you see the whole forest of your problem or situation rather than just the tree you’re likely looking at.
If you don’t work with me on personal guidance, be sure you allow yourself to let other people in – to let them teach you how to gain some perspective and to provide you with the emotional support you need when going through a tough time.
Even just one person can help you make your way through that forest.
Need some help right now? In a stuck place? Check out my Personal Guidance Programs.There’s no risk to you – if you’re not satisfied after the first session, you get your money back. That’s all there is to it.
Click the button below for more information and to reserve your spot.
[button_1 text=”Reserve my spot” text_size=”32″ text_color=”#11728b” text_bold=”Y” text_italic=”Y” text_letter_spacing=”0″ subtext_panel=”N” text_shadow_panel=”Y” text_shadow_vertical=”1″ text_shadow_horizontal=”0″ text_shadow_color=”#ff9400″ text_shadow_blur=”0″ styling_width=”40″ styling_height=”30″ styling_border_color=”#000000″ styling_border_size=”1″ styling_border_radius=”6″ styling_border_opacity=”100″ styling_shine=”Y” styling_gradient_start_color=”#ffff00″ styling_gradient_end_color=”#ffa035″ drop_shadow_panel=”Y” drop_shadow_vertical=”1″ drop_shadow_horizontal=”0″ drop_shadow_blur=”1″ drop_shadow_spread=”0″ drop_shadow_color=”#000000″ drop_shadow_opacity=”50″ inset_shadow_panel=”Y” inset_shadow_vertical=”0″ inset_shadow_horizontal=”0″ inset_shadow_blur=”0″ inset_shadow_spread=”1″ inset_shadow_color=”#11728b” inset_shadow_opacity=”50″ align=”center” href=”http://thebounceblog.com/?p=2685″ new_window=”Y”/]
Resource: For more information about the research about social support and resiliency (and just about any other research on resiliency!), check out The Handbook of Adult Resilience, by John W. Reich PhD, Alex J. Zautra PhD and John Stuart Hall PhD, (2102), Guilford Press.