Tunnel vision? 5 ideas to help you see the light

I am the Queen of Tunnel Vision.tunnel vision

Case #1:

I want to find a branch of my bank near where I’m running errands, so I pull into the parking lot of a small shopping mall and consult my smartphone. It gives me an address that seems very close.

I pull out onto the street, make a u-turn to go in the direction I think the bank is, and as I pass by the shopping area where I was parked, I see the bank in the same parking lot.

It was directly behind where I had been parked, but because I was focused on finding the nearest bank, I didn’t look where I already was.

Case #2:

I’m at the gas station and I want to use my fuel rewards/grocery savings card to see if I can get a discount on gas. I shoot my card in and out of the slot quickly, only to see the display tell me that my card isn’t registering.

I know the magnetized stripe on this card has not worked in the grocery store slots, either, and I always have to ask the cashier to scan it for me.

Nonetheless, I continue to pop it in and out of the slot at the gas station, hoping the reader will be different than the ones in the grocery store.

No luck.

I insert the nozzle and start pumping gas at the regular price. I look around idly and my eyes fall again on the gas pump.

This time I see it. About twelve inches to the left of the card-reader slot is a scanner with a sign that has a large arrow pointing to the words, “Scan your fuel rewards card here!”

Sigh.

I was so focused on the card-reader slot and only the card-reader slot, that I was not able to see anything else on that pump.

I rest my case for being the undisputed Queen of Tunnel Vision.

Tunnels make you miss the light

Although these incidents are harmless and give me some amusement at my own expense, they also serve as a good reminder for me to be more aware of my tunnel vision syndrome. If I do it while looking for a bank or pumping gas, it’s quite possible I’ll do the same thing when a much wider perspective is needed.

When a problem arises or one of life’s storms blows in out of nowhere, having an extremely narrow view tends to keep us locked in on one component of it.

For example, when my late partner was diagnosed with cancer, my first reaction was to focus intensely on the cancer itself. What was it? How could we cure it? What were the best things for Ruth to eat? What was the most effective treatment?

These were all good questions to ask, but if I had remained fixated on only the disease itself, I would have missed something very important: the journey that surrounded the disease.

It was Ruth who first gave me the nudge that widened my vision. One day at a bookstore, she held up a book by Lawrence LeShan called Cancer as a Turning Point and said, “I think this is the answer. We should take a spiritual approach to my cancer. We don’t need all of these other medical books.”

That simple shift in focus brought many wonderful experiences to us. With our eyes off the cancer and looking about us, we noticed how many people truly loved us.

We saw the miracles that occurred each day in the ordinary: the flight of birds in the sky, the simple pleasure of friendship, the joy of laughter between us.

There were times when tunnel vision returned. When Ruth became very sick from her treatment, it was hard to focus on anything other than how to get her better. But even then, we learned to allow a simple, loving email from a friend to gently jar us loose from our fixed view and remind us that when life is at its hardest, there is beauty and love on the fringes.

Widening your view

If you’re a member of my Royal Court of Tunnel Vision, here are some ideas on how to broaden your view:

1. Notice when you are in the tunnel.

This takes some practice, but the next time you find yourself stuck on a problem – whether it’s where to put your fuel rewards card or figuring out how you’re going to pay your mortgage next month – stop for a moment. Ask yourself, “Am I entertaining all solutions or am I stuck on just one? Do I need to step back and look around me? How else can I think about this?”

2. Practice looking at things from another vantage point.

I love to read self-help books and I was completely caught off guard a couple of years ago when I decided to read Roger Van Oech’s A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative.

I don’t know what possessed me to read it since it wasn’t technically “self-help,” but I’m forever glad for that possession because it has turned out to be an invaluable asset. Through games, puzzles, and stories, it teaches you to look at life from a different angle.

I had innumerable “Oh, I get it!” experiences that not only made me see how very narrowly focused I was, but also gave me tools and ideas about how to widen my approach to everything from word puzzles to life problems.

If you can’t read the book, practice opening your viewpoint with these activities:

-        When you’re in your car at a stoplight, look around you rather than at your smartphone or radio. See what is next to you on either side and then look all the way behind you.

-        Try a few crossword puzzles. Crossword clues are intentionally designed to fool you by using words that usually mean one thing but can mean another. For example, the answer to the clue, “Render powerless?” is unplug. The answer to the clue, “Pain in the rear” is backseat driver. Get it?

3. Ask others for help.

When we are in the tunnel, it’s easy to think that it makes up our entire world. All we see and know is the dark, curved walls around us.

Maybe we need a little light to help us see that we’re in a tunnel, not in the real world. A friend can do that for us. Ask a friend to help you brainstorm ideas and solutions for the problem you’re facing. The old saying, “Two heads are better than one” is quite true in this case.

4. Look where you already are.

Sometimes we have what we need around us and we can’t see it. Just like when I was sitting in my car but never saw the bank right behind me because I was too focused on my smartphone.

Take a deep breath and look around you. Is there someone who can help you navigate this storm in life? Have you made it through darkness before and can use those same skills and attitude now? Is there still faith within you that there is a light at the end of this tunnel?

5. See if there is something on the fringe you are missing.

Just as Ruth and I found beauty and love on the fringes of her cancer, see what you can find around your problem. The only thing you’ll find in a tunnel is darkness.

Look for the light, my friend, look for the light.

 

How about you? Are you a member of my Royal Court of Tunnel Vision? What helps you to expand your view?

Let me know in the comments below!

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26 Responses to Tunnel vision? 5 ideas to help you see the light

  1. Barbara August 16, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

    Bobbi, I am so grateful for your blog and find that your topics are often just what I need to read. This article is no exception. My tunnel vision relates to trying to plan for my future (I.e., control it). I will turn 60 next March and I am freaking out over the prospect of retirement. My husband is already happily retired and he’d like me to join him by age 61 or 62 at the latest. That sounds good in theory but I am fearful of how I will fill my days. My tunnel vision comes in when I try to force myself to decide NOW what activities I will do at some future date. I want to take a deep breathe and step back and let the future unfold and respond to that and not to my fantasy of what the future will be like. I need to look around more…thanks for the reminder.

    • Bobbi August 16, 2013 at 2:48 pm #

      Hi Barbara,

      Yes, I think looking around more will help you. Perhaps instead of looking at retirement from the vantage point of fear, you can look at it from a place of curiosity. What do you like to do in your spare time? What will it be like to have time for yourself? What are other people doing in retirement?

      Good luck, Barbara, and I’m glad this article is timely for you!

  2. Colm August 16, 2013 at 4:44 pm #

    Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

    • Bobbi August 16, 2013 at 5:35 pm #

      Hi Colm,

      You’re welcome!!

  3. Cathy Howard August 17, 2013 at 12:02 am #

    There is something to be said about just standing still and giving a 360 degree look at where you are – literally and figuratively. Kidding aside, that is probably the first thing a person should do when they lose their glasses, only to find them on the top of their heads!

    Barbara – instead of “retiring” what would it feel like if you used the idea of “refocusing”? Now that would be fun and let your “child” out to play.

    • Bobbi August 17, 2013 at 4:23 am #

      Cathy, I can top the glasses-on-the-head thing: I have been known to ask where my glasses are when I’m looking through them! I told you I’m the Queen! ;-)

  4. Marjorie August 17, 2013 at 12:49 am #

    Hi, Thanks for this post. About an hour ago I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and take advantage of not being able to walk far while I wait for a knee replacement. I have books to read, novels to finish writing, study to concentrate on and there’s nothing stopping me from going places where I can sit. This post confirms I am on the right track. Thankyou.

    • Bobbi August 17, 2013 at 4:22 am #

      Hey Marjorie! I’m glad this was a welcome confirmation for you. I love how you are looking for the light rather than only seeing the dark side of your knee replacement!

  5. Renia Carsillo August 20, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

    Great thoughts Bobbi! I think I could be knighted as a member of that tunnel vision court!

    • Bobbi August 20, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

      Renia, it seems the Court is quite full! I think we should all make an effort to abandon the throne!

  6. Gary Korisko August 20, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

    Oh boy.

    Tunnel vision and I know each other well. This is an interesting take on breaking out of it. I’ll give these things a try. I’m already pretty good at asking for help (right, Bobbi?) but I’ll take a stab at those others, too.

    Useful and well-written as always, Bobbi!
    Gary Korisko recently posted…Comment on A Broken Rose And A Serving Of Crow by Leanne_RegallaMy Profile

    • Bobbi August 20, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

      Hey Gary,

      Yes, you are excellent at asking for help! I bet that one skill alone gets you out of most tunnel vision situations.

  7. Marianne August 20, 2013 at 2:34 pm #

    Bobbi,
    I am so with you in the court! I thought I was the queen of tunnel vision, seriously! This post is extremely helpful, mostly a reminder to look up once in a while and take stock of what’s around.

    I have always had a problem with that and because of it, I notice my memory of places are not very good. For example, I can spend an hour in a restaurant and walk out and could not describe what the place even looked like beyond my booth or table! That’s so sad!

    Anyway, your tips are very helpful and I’m so going to get that book you recommend too.
    Marianne recently posted…Friday Faves #2: a weekly dose of lovely inspirationMy Profile

    • Bobbi August 20, 2013 at 4:10 pm #

      Marianne, you bring up a good point when you shared your restaurant experience. Part of working against tunnel vision is being mindful of the present moment and environment. It takes a lot of practice!

  8. Tammy August 25, 2013 at 2:31 am #

    I had a experence a few days ago. Sometimes
    the jobs i do seem to overwhelm me,but
    not so much anymore. Instead of only having
    one right answer and everything fail if it
    doesnt work, I think about a bunch of ways
    some job can be done. whare their is a will
    theirs a way.

    • Bobbi August 25, 2013 at 4:00 am #

      Great attitude, Tammy!

  9. Tony Khuon August 29, 2013 at 3:48 am #

    Funnily enough, I just picked up A Whack on the Side of the Head two days ago. I read it 10+ years ago for a class, and I loved it then. I forgot about it until I happened to see the book at the library. It’s definitely the anti-tunnel vision book.
    Tony Khuon recently posted…The Benefits of Slowing DownMy Profile

  10. Ashley Pennewill September 5, 2013 at 7:01 pm #

    Tunnel vision has definitely slowed me down before. Great advice, Thanks!

    • Bobbi September 6, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

      You’re welcome, Ashley!

  11. Kimberley Grabas September 6, 2013 at 9:12 pm #

    I am definitely a member of the Royal Court, but I’m getting better at limiting my membership to occasional, rather than full-time. :)

    I’ve finally learned that when I can’t ‘see for looking’, the best thing to do is take a step back and get some perspective.

    Thanks for all the great advice, Bobbi!
    Kimberley Grabas recently posted…The Writer’s Weekly Wrap-Up (Issue #15)My Profile

  12. Janet September 26, 2013 at 11:55 am #

    I am the newest member to your Royal Court of Tunnel Vision hahaha. Your blog is very interesting. The whole “don’t see the forest for the trees” thing has been my problem from time to time. Sometimes I really do have to stop and look, really LOOK at my surroundings because I will miss something very important (or potentially embarrassing).

    I really enjoyed reading you. I will be popping in from time to time to see what else you have, possibly some more eye opening insight ;)
    Janet recently posted…The Tao of Badass PdfMy Profile

    • Bobbi September 26, 2013 at 4:39 pm #

      Hi Janet and welcome to the Court! ;-)

      Glad to have you here and am looking forward to having you pop in!

  13. Preethi Venugopal October 17, 2013 at 5:44 am #

    Here, You have yet another member in the Royal Court of Tunnel Vision..
    Thank you for this post..It was an eye opener. It was a relief to know that I am a member of a royal club and was not at all alone…:)

    • Bobbi October 18, 2013 at 3:30 am #

      You are certainly not alone, Preethi! It’s an unfortunate court to be a part of, but you’re certainly not stuck in it. I allow members of the court to expand their vision and take up residence elsewhere! ;-)

  14. Gavriel October 25, 2013 at 9:11 am #

    I think we all more or less suffer from tunnel vision, because we spend too much time in our heads. It does help me to take some breaths, get out of my head, be in the now, notice what’s around me.

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  1. Feeling stuck? Here's something to help you see the forest instead of the trees | The Bounce Blog - July 29, 2014

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